What is the purpose of silent meditation retreats?
I’ve recently emerged from another 10-Day Silent Retreat, as a participant. There were 112 of us meditating together, from all corners of the globe, and all walks of life.
Every time I participate or guide this seemingly crazy silent pilgrimage, I am reminded of its potency and beauty, even ones that have been a little difficult.
Sometimes I’m asked the question - why silent retreats, or, why so many silent retreats? Isn’t one enough? Isn’t it unnatural to be silent for so long?
These are such great questions for me to ponder, I welcome the opportunity to approach with fresh discernment how I spend my time, having now spent about 250 days of my life in total silence.
I have done quite a bit of pondering about this in these post retreat days of clarity and quiet.
I’ll come back to these 'why’ questions in a moment, but to say a few words on the question of naturalness…
ON NATURALNESS
I totally agree; it is unnatural to refrain from making eye contact or engaging in conversation with others around us, as humans are inherently social creatures. However, the aim of a silent retreat is to create a context that resembles solitude, reflecting the intrinsic inclination towards being alone that humans have embraced throughout history, in a safe and supported way.
Poets, artists, musicians, leaders, philosophers, yogis, and monks alike have sought solace in solitude, acknowledging it as a response to an innate instinct within us to periodically seek seclusion.
Philosopher Henry David Thoreau is renowned for spending two years, two months, and two days living in a cabin he constructed near Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts, where he authored his most celebrated work. Gandhi engaged in periods of solitude and silence to clarify his vision for India’s independence movement. Similarly, Steve Jobs regularly embarked on retreats for solitude to refine his business strategy and realign his focus. Maya Angelou frequently sought refuge in isolated locations, such as remote hotel rooms, to pursue her writing endeavors. Emily Dickinson dedicated much of her life to self-imposed seclusion, during which she wrote prolifically. Einstein frequently retreated to his cabin in the woods for solitude and contemplation.
Is it natural for humans to spend 8, 9, or 10 hours a day fixated on a screen? Is it natural for the majority of our interactions with others to occur through devices? Is it natural for notifications to dictate our time, and for our nervous systems to consistently remain in fight or flight mode? Is it natural to find ourselves unable to fully appreciate the beauty of a sunrise, as our relentless worries prevent us from simply sitting and embracing stillness?
Hmm.
So back to the why question -
WHY SILENT RETREATS?
In silence, I find myself falling more deeply in love with life and with each passing moment. The desire to fully immerse myself in existence grows stronger, and my resolve to cherish every minute (and hour, day, and year!) becomes more steadfast.
Though I could likely distill my motivation for participating in numerous silent retreats into just a few words, I've compiled a list of reasons, which hopefully also help explain why it is that I do what I do in offering these retreats for all of you.
So here we go, in no particular order…
1.TO MEDITATE
Meditation for me is a little like cleaning my teeth (twice daily, non-negotiable). Yet, in a silent retreat, there is an opportunity to meditate for 5-6 hours, sometimes more, a day. There's a pretty indescribable and profound transformation that can occur when we meditate for so long, without any distractions.
The main reason I meditate is to reveal the depths of being through a process of calming the mind and purification of subconscious tendencies. Yet there are numerous other side effects of meditation, physical and psychological, which are increasingly supported by a burgeoning body of scientific research - which I’ll perhaps elaborate on another time.
2. TO REST
Our nervous systems are not designed to spend as much time in fight or flight mode that our modern lives demand of us. In a silent retreat our entire system is able to finally stop. Often, on the first day of a silent retreat we are so tired, and the reason is we have finally given ourselves permission to fully rest and we go into a kind of cocoon. Transitioning from the heightened alertness of fight or flight, we embrace the antithesis: "rest and digest" mode. In this state, our entire system undergoes a reset, affording us the opportunity to not only physically digest our experiences (which indeed benefits our digestive system), but also to process the myriad aspects of our lives that we habitually push aside.
3. TO BRING CLARITY AND FOCUS
The clarifying power of going into silence cannot be underestimated. Personally, I have found that retreating, whether consciously contemplating a significant life decision or not, often leads to remarkable clarity. Without actively engaging in deliberate thought about the decision at hand, the quietude of solitude allows the innate wisdom within to surface naturally. By the end of such retreats, it becomes apparent that the decision has already been made on a deeper level, guided by an inner knowing that emerges in the stillness.
4. TO PROCESS
Often, we find ourselves unable to confront our own discomfort, resorting instead to various strategies to evade difficult emotions. Whether through work, social media, alcohol, smoking, Netflix, eating, exercising, socialising, etc., we seek refuge in distractions, inadvertently disconnecting ourselves from the present moment and the essence of living. In this perpetual cycle of avoidance, time slips away unnoticed, leaving us with a sense of having missed out on countless moments.
In a silent retreat, we realise that all those difficult feelings we’ve been avoiding can actually be held in the spaciousness of our own awareness, and aren’t so scary afterall. There’s not a need to revisit the “stories” behind the emotions, but by simply shining the light of awareness on our inner world there is a remarkable process of healing that transpires naturally, gently, and effortlessly.
5. JOY, BLISS & LOVE
For me, a silent retreat is often characterised by sweetness, tranquility, and moments of pure joy, interwoven, of course, with the myriad thoughts and emotions that surface. Within this atmosphere of joy, I find a revitalised zest for life, a surge of creative inspiration, and a delighting in life's simple pleasures. It invariably initiates a process of opening more and more to love, deepening my connection to self and the world around me.
6. FOR GRACE & INSIGHT
I’ve shared before that the first silent retreat I did profoundly shifted the way I experience life, myself, and the world around me. It was as if I had lived, until then, in a kind of dreamy state of non-awareness.
From this emerged a thirst to know what this mysterious existence is, the nature of who I am, who we all are, and to live closer to truth. A silent retreat is meant to create the context for insights related to the nature of reality to emerge, which requires a whole lot of stillness, and a whole lot of grace. In the silent depths of meditation, I know this is the primary reason I do “so many” silent retreats.
7. TO TEACH BETTER
I facilitate silent retreats and guide yoga and meditation. Traditionally, those teaching these practices fully embody their philosophical roots, living and breathing what they teach. Yet nowadays anyone can do a 200 hour yoga teacher training course and be technically qualified to teach both yoga and meditation, or one can read a few nice books, and consider oneself awakened. I feel this is problematic, and has resulted in a dilution of the philosophical underpinnings of yoga, and the provision of meditation instruction which never really goes beyond concentration, and focuses on the side effects of the practice only.
As I dive deeper into these practices, I am reminded again and again of the importance of authenticity and direct experience in sharing them. Though I still consider myself very much a student and a novice in many ways, I am fully committed to sharing from a place of genuine understanding. Spending more time in retreats and meditation supports my capacity to share from this place of direct experience, while also reminding me how much I've yet to discover, which is both humbling and liberating. This reason, while very personal, feels important and relevant enough to share.
Thank you for reading my musings :)
